It okay to just Exist

Like many, I grew up with my parents expectations riding my shoulders. Their weight often crushing. At first we want to meet those expectations for a variety of reasons. The end goal was college/university than get a decent paying job. That was the expectation. Not just from parents. In highschool it became obvious it was the goal of society. Yet very little extra’s by way of accommodations for those who needed.

The believe that its okay to just exist, squashed out by the idea that in order to have value has a person you needed to benefit society in any meaningful way. Work, volunteer in the community, anything beyond just existing. Essentially if you were not willing to burn yourself out or capable of it to “benefit” society itself, you had no value.

Its disgusting, and a fine example of ableism. People have worth whether they are able to contribute to society or not. People have worth even if all they do is survive. People have worth even if they are not giving their all. Though for the longest time while I believed it for other’s. I didn’t believe in this for me. It wasn’t helped because the one person I always looked up too, the one person who time after time let me down even though he said he would be there for me, often told me being a stay at home mom wasn’t good enough. I should be doing more.

More, more, more, I should be volunteering at least, I should put my kid into day care and get out more. I should find a part time job (even though my spouse’s hours were never the same), if i can’t afford day care, this way i was being a productive member of society. I was told that it wasn’t okay to just exist. That I was acting entitled and always looking for a hand out.

These are the kind of words that make it so hard for so many. These are the kinds of words that contribute to so much mental illnesses in some people. These are the kinds of words that can break people. Its beyond time to push a new Narrative. That its okay for ourselves to just exist. Not just okay for others but its okay for ourselves too.

Its okay for us to not be okay, to not always give our all. Its okay for us to just exist and do what we can to take care of us even if that means we lean on those in our circle. We don’t have to be contributing to society all the time…or even at all to have worth. Just being alive is okay.

Published by selfdxautie

I am an Undiagnosed Non-Binary person (she/they). I stumbled across pro neurodivergent autistics by pure chance and now I help spread the information they want Parents and even our fellow autistics to know has there is a lot of misinformation out there about Autism.

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